When I was younger romance was all X's an O's.
Nowadays it's just Exes and Hoes.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo night.
A middle-aged guy goes to the proctologist for his yearly checkup. He strips down, and the doctor tells him to bend over.
The doctor puts his middle finger all the way up the guy's ass and says, "Is that uncomfortable?"
The guy says, "Not as long as I don't feel both of your hands on my back."
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.