Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
A guy was complaining to his buddy: "Man, I had it all - money, a big house, a luxury car, and most of all the love of a beautiful woman. And then POOF... just like that it was gone!"
'What happened?' asked his friend.
"My wife found out..."
The day before Valentine's day I was looking for the perfect card for my wife when I saw something strange.
On the front of one of the cards it said, "I love you and only you."
By itself it may not sound strange, but this was a package of 20 cards.
