All In Due Time

: Created: 21 March 2017; Hits: 1910

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he told her with a wink.

That evening, he came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Excited, she opened it to find her gift - a paperback book titled "The Meaning of Dreams."

And that's when the fight started...

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Next It'll Say: Out Of Business

When we first started dating I wanted to show my girfriend I was serious. So I changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship."

When I told her she said: "It should've been changd to 'under new management!'"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Do That Again

Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.

"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.

And that's when the fight started...

Next Stop Willoughby

Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his toy train while his dad was cooking dinner. Johnny stops the train at the station and says, "All of you bastards who want to get off, you're here, so get the fuck off. And you dirt bags waiting to board, get your asses on now or we leave without you!"

"Little Johnny!" shouted his father. "I can't believe you are using that kind of language! You should be ashamed of yourself! Go to your room and don't come back until you have thought about what you've done!"

So Little Johnny goes to his room and about an hour later he returns. Once again he starts playing with his toy train, only this time when he comes to the stop at the station he says, "All of you fine ladies and gentlemen who want to get off, you've arrived at your destination, you may now exit the train. And all of you nice people who are are waiting to get on, welcome aboard! As for anyone who has a problem with the one hour delay, take it up with the asshole in the kitchen!"