I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.
"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."
And that's when the fight started...
What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo
The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."
The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"
So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."