A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Depends On What You Call It

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Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?

Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

Another Bingo!

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How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

Blonde Snowman

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Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Merry Christmas!

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter replied.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's".

The Happiest Man In The World

My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."

So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."

And that's when the fight started...

Do You Have Cats At Home?

What's white, smells, and is found in panties?

Clitty litter.

(Yes, in my old age my jokes just get worse and worse. Take it, or leave it!)