Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
Because you have to hollow out the head.
A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.
He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."
The doc says, "You're just not eating right."
Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."
"So... what's the problem?"
"I don't get up until 9."
A girl walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Give me a double entendre."
So he gave it to her.
