A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Hits: 2882

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.

Hits: 3352

What is the only game in which the more you lose, the more you have to show for it?

Strip Poker.

Hits: 2269

How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?

He's smoking a cigarette.

Page 96 of 149

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Survival Skills

Three nuns and a priest are stranded in the desert. Luckily, they come across a camel. So they all jump on and head off to find help. After a while the camel is totally exhausted and falls down dead.

The priest says " Well sisters, this looks like the end. Do any of you have any last request?"

The first nun says "Father I have never had sex before." So the priest thinking this is their last day on earth, says OK and has sex with her.

The second nun says " I too father have never had sex before." So the priest thinks well, why not, and has sex with her too.

The priest then asked the third nun if her request is the same. She says "Not exactly father. I would just like to know what is that between your legs."

The priest says "Sister, that is a penis. It was put there by god to give the gift of life."

The last nun then responds "Great! Stick it in the camel and let's get the fuck out of here."

One Way To Drive Home The Point

A guy gets on a bus sits down next to a very attractive nun. Totally enamored he boldly asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally the nun says no and gets off at the next stop. The guy goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of any way he might be able to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

So the guy figures he would give it a try. He dresses up in his best God costume and hides out in the cemetery. At eight he sees the nun arrive. Just as she starts to pray he jumps out to confront her as God.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The guy tells her she must first have sex with him to prove her faith. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, as he ravages her from behind. When it's over, the guy suddenly pulls off his God disguise and shouts: "Haha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Haha!" the nun says back to him while pulling her costume off, "I'm the bus driver!"

Too Damn Polite, Eh?

Why don't Canadians attend orgies?

Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.