Every Frickin' Joke - Results from #784

Let The Force Be With You

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 11 August 2015; Hits: 3053

If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?

You choose.

Adam and Eve

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 10 August 2015; Hits: 3486

What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.

OK... So what did Adam wear?

A hole in Eve's fig leaf.

Now That'll Make Her Scream!

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 09 August 2015; Hits: 2505

How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?

Wipe your dick on the curtains.

Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 08 August 2015; Hits: 2601

How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Shoot him in the face!

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She Blew It

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Another Vocabulary Lesson

Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."

To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."

Typical Priest

A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."

"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."