Every Frickin' Joke - Results from #768

On The Rag

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 27 August 2015; Hits: 2684

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

Keeping It In The Family

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 26 August 2015; Hits: 2488

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 25 August 2015; Hits: 2375

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Anyone Like Parsley? Uhhh, Anyone?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 24 August 2015; Hits: 2572

How is pubic hair like parsley?

You push it to the side before you start eating.

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Maybe He Should Go To a Sperm Bank?

How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

Do What The Doctor Tells You

A woman who was beaten black and blue, goes to the doctor. The doc asks: "What happened?" She tells him: "I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp."

The doctor says: "I have the perfect solution for you. Whenever your husband comes home in that state, just grab a glass of iced tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle."

Two weeks later she returns and looks reborn and fresh again. "Doc," she says, "That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled with the tea. I gargled and gargled and nothing happened."

The doctor smiled knowingly. "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!"

Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.