What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
A guy asks his grandma, "Have you seen some pills around here? They are labeled LSD?"
His grandma replies, "Fuck your pills, there's a dragon in the kitchen!"
Two Syrian hookers were talking about their problems. One said: "With the Russians jumping into this war we've got soldiers lined up around the block. I need a break!"
Her girlfriend agreed: "Yeah... I think we need to declare a no fly zone."
Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
