What is the flattest surface you can iron your jeans on?
A white chick's ass.
A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"
"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."
What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?
You at least take the trash out once a week.
A guy is at the funeral home viewing his wife's coffin with a sad look on his face. His friend walks up to comfort him and says: "Don't worry Harry, you'll meet another woman."
"I know," Harry replied, "but what am I going to do tonight?"