If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?
You choose.
Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."
How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?
Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.
What do a grizzly bear and a limp dick have in common?
Don't fuck with them.
