Take Out The Trash

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

Two old ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

Her friend replies, "Oh sure I do." So the first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second one answers: "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

Nothing.

I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.

Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"

Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...