Sometimes Things Don't Get Better With TIme

: Created: 12 August 2015; Hits: 2387

What is the main difference between the first and second honeymoon?

On the second honeymoon, the husband is the one sobbing, "It's way too big."

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My Kind Of Rabbi!

A congregation honors a rabbi for twenty-five years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all-expenses paid. When he walks into his room, there's a nude girl lying on the bed.

He immediately picks up the phone, calls his temple, and says, "Where is your respect? As your rabbi, I am very, very angry with you."

The girl gets up to leave and starts to get dressed when the rabbi stops her and says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."

They Don't Teach This In School

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he had ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."

What's Her Name?

What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?

A crack whore.