What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Difference between a friend & a real friend?
A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.
It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.
My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"
I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"
And that's when the fight started...
