What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?
Being a man.
My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.
I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"
And that's when the fight started...
Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.
Do you know what they sing?
I didn't think you did.
