Every Frickin' Joke - Results from #1008

Looking For A Good Deal

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 14 January 2015; Hits: 2166

A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.

A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"

The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."

Over Her Dead Body

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 13 January 2015; Hits: 2428

How can you tell if your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Over My Dead Body

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 12 January 2015; Hits: 2565

What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

Who Said Things In Life Aren't Free?

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 11 January 2015; Hits: 2184

What would you call a dead prostitute?

Free.

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The One Thing Not To Do

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.

See If He Measures Up

Know when a man is well hung?

When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.

Good Riddance

Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed.

His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"

To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married for 40 years."