The One Thing Not To Do

: Created: 12 April 2016; Hits: 2817

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.

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Not Enough Room

A lady goes golfing and gets hit in the ass really hard with a golf ball. She goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "Where were you hit?" She says, "Between the first and the second hole."

He says, "That doesn't leave alot of room for a band-aid, does it?"

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Shove It!

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.