What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?
You don't look down.
My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.
So I did - the middle one.
And that's when the fight started...
A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."
The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"
Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?
Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?