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The One Thing Not To Do

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What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Advice For Prepared Citizens

If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.

Your lawyer will thank you.

A Real Blonde

Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."

Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper

Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."

Either Way It Works

A nun came to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear confession. "Today Father Johnson told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then he opened my gates with his key."

"That bastard!" said Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."