Looking For A Good Deal

A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.

A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"

The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."

I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

I said: "Yeah, but I do."

And that's when the fight started...

What would you call a hooker with jizz all over her face?

Call her a cab ... her job is done.

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?

Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!