What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?
Being a man.
I asked my wife to give me a blow job. She said "Can't you be more romantic?"
So I told her "Sure, give me a blow job... in the rain."
And that's when the fight started...
Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.
Mom: Every day more like your dad.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't cook... they eat out.
