Ahhh... The Things That Lovers Text To Each Other

Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."

Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."

Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?

100 people who don't do dick.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

When would you want a man's company?

When he owns it.