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Ahhh... The Things That Lovers Text To Each Other

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Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."

Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Let's Think About Sex

What do women think about during sex? That depends...

The prostitute thinks: "That's all."

The nymphomaniac thinks: "That's all?"

The housewife thinks: "Beige...yes, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Good Advice

I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'

Depends on Which End You Are On

A little girl asked her mom: "When you and daddy have sex, who enjoys it more?"

Her mother thought for a moment and replied: "Sweetie, you know when you have an itch in your ear and you stick your finger in and wiggle it around to make it go away? Think about it... which feels better, your finger or your ear?"