What'd the bi-polar write on the picture postcard?
"Having a wonderful time. Wish I were dead."
Guy gets home from work on the day the stock market tumbled looking visibly upset. His wife asks: "Honey, what's the matter?"
He tells her: "I can't believe I lost half my money and I still have you."
And that's when the fight started...
When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.The old gal asks: "What's up?"He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."She says: "How often do I have to do that?"
Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.
Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.
