The Parade Route Is Safe

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

How are women like hardwood floors?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.