The Parade Route Is Safe

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.

Tragically Mickey and Minnie Mouse found themselves in divorce court.

The judge asked Mickey: "Mr. Mouse, are you telling this court that you wish to divorce your wife simply because you think she's crazy?"

Mickey replied: "I never said she was crazy... I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."