What'd the hockey player get on his SAT's?
Drool.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.
I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife and I had our usual back and forth at breakfast when I finally said: "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice."
