Farmer Brown has a group over to play poker. But little Johnny keeps running around the table, yelling out what cards everybody has. No matter what the farmer orders his kid to do, he keeps coming back and wrecking the game. Finally,one of the players says, "This ain't working. Let's get outta here."
Reverend Grayson says, "Hold on a minute," and leads little Johnny out of the room. A few minutes later he returns and then nothing... they never see the kid again. Farmer Brown asks, "Rev, what the heck'd you do to little Johnny?"
The Reverend answers, "I showed him how to jerk off."
I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like: "Oh, we're not going to have sex, but I'll give you a hand job."
Hey! Newsflash: I have hands... they have the job... the position is filled... I don't need to outsource the work... alright? If you got a pussy for the job, we can talk -- 'cause I am always hiring.