How's pussy like pizza?
The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.
I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"
Then I unplugged his life support.
Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.
Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
