It's Gonna Be A Good Year

What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.

When's it okay to spit in an Italian girl's face?

When her moustache is on fire.

Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.

One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."

The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"

Why do men like women with small hands?

It makes their dicks look bigger.