It's Gonna Be A Good Year

: Created: 09 June 2015; Hits: 2534

What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.

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How Much Land Do You Own?

Three Texans are sitting on a bench together. One named Smith, one named Johnson, and the other one named Goldberg. Smith begins to brag about how much land he has, "500 acres with 1000 head of cattle I call it 'Smith Acres'"

Johnson says, "Yeah, not bad, but I have 1000 acres and 2000 head of cattle, I call it 'Johnson Estates'". Both Smith and Johnson look over at Goldberg and say, "So, how much land do you have?"

Goldberg says, "Well, I only have 75 acres." "75 acres!?!" they reply, "that's all? What that's called?"

Goldberg responds, "Downtown Houston".

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

The Chicken Or The Egg?

A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.

The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.

The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."