You Pay Extra For That

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

What's a platonic relationship?

That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her.

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.

How do you confuse a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.