Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."
And that's when the fight started...
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
A guy is driving home when a cop pulls him over.The cop says, "Have you been drinking?"The guy says, "Yes, I have."The cop says, "Please step out of the car."The guy says, "Why? Don't you believe me?"
A guy is sitting at the bar and he's really drunk. His dick is out, he's a monstrous hard-on, and he's beating off like there's no tomorrow.
The bartender says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get outta here."
The guy says, "Are you kiddin'? No way I can leave. If I stood up I couldn't walk. In fact, I'm so drunk, I don't even know who I'm screwin'."
