Another Perspective On Marriage

I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"

She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."

And that's when the fight started...

What two things can get a woman pregnant when they're in the air?

Her feet.

Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"

The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."

After weeks without gettin' any I got really pissed off and asked my wife: "What has two arms, two legs, two boobs & sucks?"

Before she could even think of a reply I told her: "You and a vacuum cleaner."

And that's when the fight started...