Always Important To Match

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.

Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?

Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"