Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.
The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
After weeks without gettin' any I got really pissed off and asked my wife: "What has two arms, two legs, two boobs & sucks?"
Before she could even think of a reply I told her: "You and a vacuum cleaner."
And that's when the fight started...
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo night.
I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."