How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"
So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between your job and a whore who dropped dead?
Tomorrow your job will still suck!
My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...
...or something like that.
