How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Forty-five pounds.
