My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"
I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."
A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"
