My wife seemed a little down in the dumps. So I offered her some advice: "Honey, cheer up. Sometimes you just have to appreciate the little things in life."
She looked at me and replied: "How do you think I've stuck with you?"
Typical macho guy married a good-looking broad and after the wedding, he laid down the rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't want any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any questions?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
