After many years of marriage a husband up and tells his wife he wished she had bigger breasts. "How am I supposed to get bigger breasts?" she asks. "That’s simple." he says, "Just rub them with toilet paper every day." "What the hell is that supposed to do?" his wife shot back.
"Well," answered her husband, "It worked for your ass!"
Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we play through?"
The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?" His buddy says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress." The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over."
He gets about halfway there and comes back. The second guy says, "What's wrong?"
