How is sex like credit?
It's the people who need it most who can't get any.
Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?
Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.
A lady goes golfing and gets hit in the ass really hard with a golf ball. She goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Where were you hit?" She says, "Between the first and the second hole."
He says, "That doesn't leave alot of room for a band-aid, does it?"
Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."
Mom: "Did someone harass you?"
"Finally!"
