What's the difference between light and hard?
You can fall asleep with a light on.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!
I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"
She said: "Great, pour me some."
And that's when the fight started...
Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.
Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
