What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!
Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
What is more messed up than fingering your sister?
Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.