What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?
See you next period.
What's a birth control pill?
That's the other thing a girl can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.
I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"
And that's when the fight started...
