Out For A Drive

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

What is the definition of "making love"?

Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

A cop pulls a guy over and gives him the breathalyzer test.

The cop is so shocked he says: "Jesus man... you are REALLY drunk."

The guy looks up and says; "Thank God. I thought my steering went out."

A little boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"

So his father takes him up to the bedroom where mom is sleeping. "Look at this," he says as he lifts the covers carefully. "That's a pussy son."

"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"

"No!" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"