Out For A Drive

: Created: 12 August 2017; Hits: 3044

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Salesman Of The Month

Guy goes to a cocktail party but doesn't realize his fly is open.

At the party he spots a real pretty gal across the room and decides to try his luck. He walks up and they start chatting when the gal glances down and sees his open fly. Hoping to be discreet she casually asks: "Did you lock up your business before you got here tonight?" The guy says, "Sure."

After a few more minutes of small talk the gal tries again: "Are you sure the store is locked up?" The guy says, "Absolutely..." still not realizing what she meant.

As he walks away a few minutes later he realizes his fly is open and fixes the problem. Later that evening he spots the gal again, only this time he is prepared. He walks up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. As she turns around he smiles at her and asks: "Remember earlier when you noticed my store was open? Tell me... was my best salesman in or out?"

No Rest For This Piece

A guy walks into a whorehouse looking for some action. He goes up to the madame and asks,"Hey, can I get a piece from one of your fine ladies?"

"Sorry sir," the madame responds, "but, we're all full." "Aw, please." he begs, "I'm super horny and I really need some poontang!"

The madame thinks for a moment then answers, "Well, there is one girl left but when you go meet her you have to wear this black condom." "Whatever," the guy shrugs and runs upstairs.

A few hours later he comes back down and says, "Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?"

The madame answered, "Out of respect for the dead."

Maybe Not So Great After All?

An accordion player and a banjo player are hired to play together on New Year's Eve.

At the end of the party, the guy who hired them says, "You guys were great. You want to play for me again next New Year's Eve?"

The banjo player says, "Sure. Can we leave our stuff?"