Divide and Conquer

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop anytime.

The most common superstition in the world today? Belief in your hororscope. There's even a name for people who have that superstition.

They're called "single women."