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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Sound Advice For Nature Lovers

Hits: 1884

What do a grizzly bear and a limp dick have in common?

Don't fuck with them.

Chip Off The Old Block

Hits: 2130

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.

I Wanna Register To Attend

Hits: 2413

Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Baby Polar Bear

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

Ahh... The Good Old Days

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the grocer and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about."

One Or The Other For Sure

If a guy opens the car door for his wife you can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or the wife is.