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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Hits: 2140

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

He heads over to the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

(Ah please... just google it!)

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What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

Your wife will always blow your bonus!

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How's a frying pan hanging on the wall like a woman's panties?

You have to get them down before you can put the meat in.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

They Never Grow Up...

Why is psychoanalysis faster for men than women?

When he has to go back to his childhood he's already there.

She's Smoking!

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

Sausage Without Mustard?

Bill and Ted, decide they want to go out and get wasted, but after counting all their money, they realise they only have about ten bucks between them. So Ted gets an idea. They head over to a local butcher and Ted tells Bill to wait outside. Ted comes out a few minutes later with a foot long sausage. Bill reminds his buddy they want to get wasted, not eat.

Ted assures him not to worry, "We'll hit a bar and drink them dry. Then, when we're ready to leave, I'll have the sausage in my pants, and you start sucking on it. They won't even think about asking for money." Sure enough, after a bunch of drinks at the first bar, Bill goes down on Ted and the bouncer immediately kicks them out. Ted tells Bill, "See, I told you this would work. Let's hit another." This goes on for 3 more bars.

As they are about to stumble into the next one, Bill turns to Ted and says, "Hey... Can I have the sausage this time? My neck is killing me." Ted replies, "What sausage? I got hungry 2 bars back."