What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.
Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.
As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.
Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.
Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.
Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?
Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
