A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

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What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

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What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

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What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

You're Doing It All Wrong

Johnson's wife had been in a coma for four months. The nurses came to realise that she would move a little every time they washed her crotch area. Her doctor thought hard about this and asked Johnson to come to the hospital.

When he got there the doctor suggested perhaps if Johnson practiced oral sex with her she might wake out of the coma. Johnson said he would try anything and asked for some privacy.

Minutes later he came rushing out of the room shouting, "Doc, help, I think she's choking!"

Never Stopped Talking

A guy says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”

The friend asks, “Why not?”

The guy tells him, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...