What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?
A blowjob.
Why doesn't Chelsea have any brothers and sisters?
Monica swallowed them.
A stockbroker calls a client and says, "Sam, I have good news and bad news."
Sam says, "Tell me the bad news first."
The stockbroker says, "I lost all of your money."
Sam says, "What's the good news?"
The stockbroker says, "I got laid last night."