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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Baby Polar Bear

Created: 31 October 2014
Hits: 3374

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

Paralysis Comes Easy

Created: 29 October 2014
Hits: 3202

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

Adoption Laws

Created: 26 October 2014
Hits: 3034

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who Caught What

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.

Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

"Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."

More Than He Bargained For

Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"

A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."

The Voice of Experience

Husband asks: "Should I watch porn or hockey?"

Wife: "Watch porn. You already know how to play hockey."

And that's when the fight started...

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