A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Baby Polar Bear

Hits: 3378

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

Paralysis Comes Easy

Hits: 3210

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

Adoption Laws

Hits: 3062

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

Page 146 of 149

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Make Sure It's Tight

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

The New Pet

A guy is just miserable.  So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

Take Out The Trash

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...