Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"

Sign Of The Times