A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

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Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

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Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

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The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."

The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A True Poet

My contribution to poetry & truth:

Roses are red that much is true. But violets are purple not fucking blue.

A Sign of the Times

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other: "Man, was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!"

His buddy signs back: "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." The fist guy signs: "How do you do that?"

His friend signs to him: "Easy! I turn the lights off!"

A Matter of Timing

I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."