A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

In Any Language

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What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

There's A Card For Everything

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Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

A Change of Habit

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Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."

One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"

"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Another Vocabulary Lesson

Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."

To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."

Damn Good

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

The preacher quickly reponded, "No shit!"

She Interrupted The Game

My wife popped in while I was watching the game and asked: "Want some supper?"

Without looking up I replied: "What are my choices?" She fired back: "Yes and no!"

And that's when the fight started...