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Just Plain Funny

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Deductive Reasoning

Created: 15 September 2016
Hits: 3297

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping. As they look up into the sky, Holmes asks, "Watson, tell me what you see."

Watson says, "I see millions of stars." Holmes then asks, "And what does that tell you?" Watson thinks for a minute then says, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answers, "It tells me somebody stole our fucking tent."

Been A Long Time

Created: 14 September 2016
Hits: 3081

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

Call The Coroner

Created: 13 September 2016
Hits: 2648

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Winning Idea

I asked my wife what she'd do if I won the lottery. She told me she'd take half and leave me.

So I told her: "Great! I won 10 bucks on a scratch-off this morning. Here's your five, now get the fuck out."

And that's when the fight started...

I Can't Hear You

What do you call a deaf bully?

Anything you want.

The Down Under

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

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