Been A Long Time

: Created: 14 September 2016; Hits: 2419

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

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After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

Take A Walk On The Boardwalk

My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.

It's Always in a Bar

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"